When things go 'wrong', I always wonder, 'What's the lesson in this for me?'
I was going to share my video with you today about the benefits of technology, systems and flexible routines in making things easier for your mind! But unfortunately my video wouldn’t load to YouTube this week….so I’m being flexible….and using the technology that IS working for me to write a blog post instead. In fact, my little tech dramas this week made me think that sometimes the world actually knows what we need better than we know ourselves. As the Lennon saying goes, 'Life is what happens to you, while you are busy making other plans'! So, I thought maybe it was time to mix things up and do something a little different.
It’s easy to get frustrated and disappointed when things don’t go the way we hope they will. I used to feel like this a lot….I’d wonder where I had gone ‘wrong’ or what I could do differently to ‘fix’ the things that weren’t going the way I’d hoped in my life. Then one day I decided perhaps the world, far wiser than me, knew what I should be doing and that I needed to make the best of whatever hand I was dealt. I remember being in the ‘fast’ lane at the pool and having REALLY slow swimmer in front of me….I was training for an event and was getting a little irate….but then this little thought popped in my head which made me laugh to myself as I stood waiting at the end of the pool - ‘Perhaps I need to take it easy today!’ ‘Perhaps instead of charging along mindlessly, maybe today I just need to enjoy my swim!’
So now whenever something goes ‘wrong’ in my life, I take a look again and ask myself…..'What is the message in this for me?' 'What do I need to learn from this?' Because usually there is some kind of personal lesson which I can take away. Maybe it’s that I need to be confident, stand up for myself, say what I really think, listen a bit harder to what someone is telling me or sometimes it’s just time to let go and accept this is the way things will be.
Often when we feel frustrated, overwhelmed or disappointed our emotions ramp up and we stop observing our lives, ourselves and the choices we make along the way. We get stuck in the emotion of things and stop deciding consciously, or we begin to feel like victims of circumstance instead of realising we have the resources we need inside us to respond to whatever comes our way.
Some of the challenges we face in life hurt us very deeply and when this happens, of course we need to give ourselves more time to process, manage and cope with these. Being able to sit with our feelings and letting them be, is part of being present, fully conscious and caring to ourselves.
But, sometimes all it takes is a tiny little decision to change, to respond differently, to think differently and to choose intentionally the version of ourselves we’d like to be. When we do this, whether we decide to stand up and say our piece or whether we decide to let go, we have owned our decision and feel free knowing that, even though we can’t control the world around us, we can always take a step back and decide how we respond to it. A big thanks to a couple of people for reminding me of the importance of observing and choosing how we respond consciously and intentionally this week. It is truly such a powerful way to live…. and one worth sharing I think.
Emily Wilks
Director - GoGetEm Coaching
Psychologist/Coach
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